title: tiredd..

today's school kinda passed quickly.
was looking forward for art today.
but got this feeling that SBH might scold me for not doing his work.

but AH!
all went well (:
i managed to darw all 6 in time.
Mr sim trimmed cut my artisit's statement into 1/5 left on my papper.
wa lao.waste my effotand time writing so much :X
but OH WELL!

break sometime in the middle of art elect class.
bought some vanilla & strawberry tarts and PUDDING!♥
gossiped with lao po & teased SBH.
we wondered how his gf calls hm outside:
ah hengg ah♥♥♥♥.
MUST be something like that! :O
hahahs.
and gabby brought up momo & the bus-stop incident.
she was laughing abt it.
instead of being sympathatic.hahas.
come to thing of it,it kinda makes sense.
him and i looking down and said 'shit' at the same time..
does lit a smile up my face. (:

towards the end of the lesson:
we found out that BH's girlfriend's name starts with an 'A'.
thats all we cant 'dig out' from him.

backk home!
rushed--and went to PP for dinner.
ate korean hotplate..(gives me a nostlagic feeling)
koreans HUH.hmph.
yea,thanks for bringing that upp.

shopped for some CNY clothes♥
cant find those orangeyy that i wanted.
but ive got some red ones instead (:

backk home at 9pm!
thats when i started blogging (:

To andrea: sozz abt the saturdayy thingy.dont know i could go.my mumm is considering it.well you know.her reason: 'O' levells LAHHH.

tsk.im looking forward to see TYS D:

toodles for noww.

♥Ace
Title: stress

ohh GAWDD.
its mondayy blues.
althou' i kinda handled it well.
geog period..siva is picking on ariel as usual.
and i havent printed notes for ka ying(oops)
and when i did,it kinda cost $1.70.
but i gave her a 50% discount.
see.i so nice rightt! :D
everything was a rush today.
GAHHHH.
darn the Amath test.
have no idea how to do chapt 10 angles.
i diedd during the test.eeep.

tution after school as usual.
its like..6pm now,and i havent started ANY of myy hw
and art.
oh shaaakkks.
dont feel like doing it..no inspiration!
mr sim's gonna kill me tml D:

searched for some pics in deviantART.
and ffound only one that's suitable:
http://blue-fusion.deviantart.com/art/Singkil-57676608
yeahhh.

emo dayys are over (:
i guess im darneddd good at keeping things in a bottle.
its the safest anywayx.
pls dont come asking me abt the previous post.
if not i'll feel more pressurised.

aiyahhh.
heck care SBH lahh.
i go do hw.
art see if i feel like doing then do.
if not thenn too bad D:

'O' levels are killing me!
plus i cant step down by end of march..
i could only step down as senior floorball at julyyy.
right after chinese 'O's!
GACKKK T^T

♥Ace
Title:jealousy
I feel so selfish.

She's smart & sweet.
what am i?
She's handsome & out-going.
what am i?
She's cuddlely & strong.
what am i?
She's popular & emo.
what am i?
She's fair & cute.well-liked & brave.
what am i?

swallowed by jealously.
who am i?
what am i?
am i just a soft-hearted crybaby?
how come they got all the attention?
where's my placing?
where's do i stand?
what am i worth?
Am i second choice?

i feel so selfish.
why do i want more when i've got enough?
what is this hatered?
why do i smile sweetly and hid my emotions?
why do i pretend that i wouldnt care?
why do i care?
why do i always let her win?
why am i always letting others ..?
why am i lagging?
where am i running towards?
who'll wait for me?
am i jus letting them step all over me?
am i jus plain selfish?

Like a piece of pure-white paper;
I let you draw,sketch,colour,design me.
I didnt mind what you wrote on me.
I dont mind you erasing what you write
even though it hurts.
I let you fold me into a paper plane.
You threw me into the sky
and let me glide.
The wind stopped and i fell.
You were near;
but you didnt catch me.
I landed on the floor,
dented on the sides.
You saw me as waste paper.
You crumpled me and threw me into the dustbin.
What next i dont know.
But i knew that im not wanted or of use anymore.

♥Ace
Title:Tell me.please.
whew!
& i took the WHOLE afternoon changing my blogskin and fix my archieves.
tsk tsk.and i thought i could go to the library to borrow some books.
JAHH.
my homework is yet undone againn.
better start on it :O
'O' levels BABE!

last thursday:17/1/08.
GOD is playing a joke on me.
yes.
after my floorball training,
i saw momo.
on way home by bus..
i was dead beat and holding my stickk.
as usual,i'll glance at the HDBs when the bus pass by his place.
normally i'll look away and not think abt it.
but todayy was different.
a group of three was standing at the busstop staring.
i didnt look that direction but some..attraction/force jus pulled my face there.
oh.
i turned to my stickk.
wait.WHAT?!
i glanced backk-- he looked at me with the same expression:dumbfonded.
he looked at his feet immediately.
shit.
i whispered under my breath.
my brows were knitted together and my heart was pounding.
frm afar,i looked confused.
why are u trying to imply,god?
couldnt you let me forget this once and for all?
its the third time you're doing this to me.
what are u trying to tell me?
i didnt look backk for the rest of the journey.
i was lost in thought for the rest of the day.

i dont think it meant anything.
but god's trying to tell me something.
but what?
it couldnt be a coincidence.
this happened THREE TIMES when i tried to let go & forget.

but this time its different.
ive let go.but i'll never forget.
that i can promise you.

but you havent answered my question.
what are you trying to imply?

♥Ace
was talking to lao gong today
and she mentioned momo's name.
i was surprised that i didnt felt a thing.
no more pangs of sadness,misery,sorrow or anguish.
not even a flinch of hope,no embarassment.

i got over him.
i THOUGHT i got over him.
and im very sure i did.

today went by and i didnt look back.
i totally forgot that i even liked him.
i was having a great time at my grandmother's house.
i didnt hear my handphone ringing.

i was on my way back home.
when i finally saw the sms.
momo.
he got something to tell me.

i felt everything rush back to my body.
fear.sadness.anguish.
why did he bother to sms me again?
i wished i hadent hoped.

the journey back home was a pain.
i was waiting for the truth.
the real truth.
i was clenching my moblie.
i felt it again.
that hole.
it havent heal.
old wounds are opening up.
tell me;hurry.

once i stepped into my house,
i tried not to think abt it.
i changed,i showered,i went to bed.
i checked my handphone again.

the message was lying there,waiting for me to discover.
'..the answer is no.sorry man.'
'i think a friend would be more suitable for me.'

i felt my insides die.
didnt i get over him long ago?
this shouldnt be painful.
it would be better this way.i told myself.
its beating.
its hitting my ribs so hard that i feel like pulling it out.
i hung my head.
why am i pinning so much hope for this guy?
why?
i dont even know it myself.
perplexed.
why?

am i not good enough?
too straight-forward?
too petty?
too weird?
too selfish?

i understand that it took u alot of courage to reply.
u took a week to think abt it.
i accept.unwillingly.
if it makes u happy,im glad.
i cant force anythihng out of u.

my head hurts.
i was complaining abt love ytd for my dear friend
and was helping her to make her stand.
and yet i couldnt stand up for myself?
pathetic fool.
what on earth am i doing?
why am i acting like this?
i thought it was over?
i realised.
i couldnt get over u.
why cant i?
screw it.
please get out of my head.

i continued to smile.
for everybody's sake.
i dont want to complain or whine abt anything.
its your decision and i respect it.
im a fool for hoping.

its over.
everything.
im jus typing out how i feel.
or it'll burst inside me.
i want to scream out :'why?'
its a mess inside of me.
im clearing it out.

im sorry too.

it must be hard these past few days.

all i wanted is to hold u tight one last time.
trust me.i will cry.
the last time i'll be anguish..
the last time i'll be sorrowful..
the last time i'll be hopeful..
the last time i will cry for u.
my hopes are dashed.

im going on a different route.
its goodbye for love.

the last time i'll remember you.
im backk--
from china,from hoildays from watever.
too many things had happen and i dont think words can describe.

so i'll jus type in whatever i remember..

so..u've known.i lost 1500+ yuan in Xi'an.(S$300+)
yes.i really have to take my hat off that theif.
he/she really picked my lugguage and took me wallet!
*cries.
oh get over it.

as usual..
lao po went out with me.
'lao po's'' actually.
hohos.

last sunday,
ive got a Judokan MAKAN at fengshan CC.
fried rice.fried noodles.sweet & sour chicken.honey-chicken.mushrooms.broccoli.hawaian pizza.lemonade.
u wont believe it but i really ate all those things (:
go graces!
was hoping he would come.
looks like dissappointment took over me.
but i didnt lose hope.

monday.
i'll remeber this day forever.
yuki.momo's BFF smsed..
and i discovered something i wanted very much to know but was afaid to know at the same time.
its was a one-sided love.
i didnt feel like chatting anymore.
i was right.
they were jerks.idiots.freaks.
i was living in self-denail? all this while.

as usual.
rolled up into a ball and clenched fists.
hiding under the blankets,
hidden in the darkness;
drowning sorrow.
i knew its all along..just thati refused to believe it.
how dense.
im the one who's an idiot.

i'd rather hear him say 'i hate u' than waiting for another answer.
it would have pained me less.
seriously.

--
school's tomorrow and im SO not prepared.
SO not prepared for 'O' levels.
SO not prepared to revise.
SO not prepared to study with the smarties in $)^.
SO not prepared to admit in a sec 4.
SO not prepared to throw my feelings away.
SO not prepared to face reality.the truth.my future.