Title: Randomness 3

001. What's the connection between you & the last person that called you?
grace.gay lover(keke.)

002. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
rarely..until its outta battery(:

003. What happened at 10.00am today?
i was showering.. -,-

004. When did you last cry?
a few days ago..

005. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
low-fat milk ((:

006. What do you want in your life right now?
study hard,get into a good JC,have a diploma,go NUS,be a professional consellor and part-time painter(:

007. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
depends really..id rather dance in the rain(:

008. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
my darling rag-doll rabbit(:

009. What bottom are you wearing now?
uhh..brown floral-printed mini shorts?

010. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?
one that says i love you. (from 'girl' friends)

011. Do you tend to make a relationships complicated?
never been in one.(im being absolutely honest XD)

012. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
not now..

013. What was the last movie you caught?
KUNG FU PANDA :DDD

014. What are you proud of?
my adorable friends.

015. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
'omg!!i saw sophie at parkway eating lunch with a guy.haha'...
(sorry sophie darlinx!)

016. What was the last song you sang out loud?
How could an angel break my heart ^^"

017. Do you have any nicknames?
tsuzuki.ace.ling.manga-face...andd more.

018. What does your last received text message say?
"Eee.. sim buan hend :-O good luck.haha.call me when you're home ya'..

019. What time did you go to bed last night?
almost 12am i think...

020. Are you currently happy?
more worried than happy.but im reasonably cheery.WWW tml!

021. Who gives you best advice?
myself.(chuckles)..my clique & daddy (:

022. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
yuck.fattening...

023. Who did you talk on phone last night?
Gabby (:

024. Is anything bugging you right now?
DUH.homework & more homework.

025. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
this is a straight forward question.
MICHAEL SUNG.

026. Do you wear toe socks?
wassat?

027. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
some private number..so i dunno.maybe nabila?grace lum?

028. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
yea..lotsa times.

029. What annoys you most in a person?
persistence (in the negative manner)

030. Do you have a crush on anyone?
now?NO-ONE.(shouts for joy)

031. Have you ever done cocaine?
never ever ever.

032. What is the colour of your room?
white..

033. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
provided no-one finds out and i wont feel guilty abt it.:D

034. Do you believed in the saying "talk is cheap"?
depends depends.

035. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
my brother;perhaps.

036. Who was the last person to hug you?
gabby (: ♥♥

037. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
im gonna answer this honestly again.
i havent lost my first kiss.(except to my parents,of course.)

038. Do you have a life?
like DUH.

039. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
lots of times.me and my imagination.

040. What is the reason behind your profile song?
what profile song?

041. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
a stranger..

042. Last time you smiled?
like a second ago...

043. Have you changed this year?
yeah.more matured & daring & lazy.

044. What are you listening to right now?
Ai no Uta

045. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
nope.

046. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
open...closed when i put myself in a blind person's shoes.

047. Is there a quote you live by?
It'll work out somehow..(bad quote..better change it.)

048. Do you want someone you can't have?
who?

049. Have you ever played an instrument?
who doesnt?

050. What was the worst idea you've had in week?
going out everyday like theres no tommorrow. (believe it or not;i think its bad.i know my responsibilities!)

051. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
ghost stories..with maid & mummy.

052. Are you happy with your love life right now?
no.i guess not.

053. What song describe your love life?
huhuh.how could an angel break my heart.seriously.

054. Does the person know that you like him/her?
dont like anyone now..but yea,he does.unfortunately.

055. Who always make you laughs?
lemme repeat.MICHAEL SUNG.

056. Do you speak other language other than English?
chinese..bits of indo-malay,and a few words of japanese(:

057. Are you blonde?
im a dark brunette :D

058.What your middle name?
compassionate.

059. What are you doing tomorrow?
fun at wild wild wet with family.

060. What do you think you are like?
too soft.and my mind wanders...

061. Who will you choose to die with?
my rag-doll rabbit.(i dont wanna pull anyone down with me.)

062.Where have you been today?
bedok resevoir and fair price.

063. What game do you play often?
percussion.

064. Who are you missing right now?
not particularly anyone..

065. If you've to choose between friend & love, who will you choose?
ive never been in that delima before..so i dont know.see who i love and trust more first (:

066. What are you doing right now?
trying to drag time so that i couldnt do my hw.

067. Which primary school are you from?
katong convent primary school (:

068. Name 3 colours that you like:
RED,orange and ...brown perhaps..(all the warm colours lolx♥)

069 What emotion you like to show?
concern.i think.

070. What is life to you?
wide,like the sea.many dangers lurking..but once you're onboard,its calm and peaceful.

071. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
bottle in inside,draw,sing or call up my besties (:

072. Who did you last chat in msn today?
andrea..i think.

073. Who do you admire the most?
god..?

074. Which month are you born in?
september.

075. How are you feeling right now?
bored and sleepy. that's why im actually doing this.

076. What is the time now?
9.45 pm

077. Where are you now?
somewhere upstairs..

078. What colour did you use to dye hair?
dont wanna dye..

079. Why are you doing this test?
feel like it.

080. What do you do when you're moody?
like i said,draw or sing.

081. At which age you wish to get marry?
twenties..25?26?27?

082. Who is more important to you? Stead or Friends?
depends.for now,its FRIENDSSSSSS

083. Do you think you have enough confidence?
confidence for??

084. Who is the person you trust the most?
gabby & andrea.

085. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
sometimes if theres sunshine.but i LOVE the rain.

086. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
for all of my dreams to come true!

087. What is your goal for this year?
do well for o levels.

088. Do you believe in eternity love?
yeah.but only some lucky ones get it..

089. What feeling do you love most?
peaceful and happy.

090. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
dont eat meat!switch off the air-conditioner!the fans!the lights!the heater!!!!!!dont use plastic bags!

091. What feeling you hate the most?
jealousy.

092. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
almost all.

093. Do you believe in God?
Yes,i do.

094. Who cares for you the most?
i dont know.gabby?andrea?my parents?god?

095. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
keke.world peace.

096. What will you bring for a fight?
i dont fight.i give silent treatment.

096. What would you do if tmrw was the last day of your life?
extreme sports.make a difference.hug all my love ones.pray.then panic.

097. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
admitting that ive been in love with jerks.

098. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
swirl of emotions.

099. What if your stead two-timed you?
depends on stead.curse,dump him.cry.then plot for revenge.and hope that he's love life will never,never,be smooth.he'll regret it for life.

100. Who do you miss now ?
gabby.gabby.gabby.gabby.gabby.
and Tj.(negatively.)
_______________________________________
Side note.

On 4th of May,i finally woke up to my senses.
Tj hugged Jen real tight like theres no tml.
he ran his hand throu he hair,
held her hand and smiled at her.
its obvious that he preferred her company than mine.
when we said goodbye,he didnt even look at me.
On that very day,my heart shattered.
i was on the very urge of crying.
beacause of him,i actually hated my fav' sis TO THE CORE.
Tj MUST be doing this on purpose.i gave up.
seriously.mentally,i pushed him away.
whenever i looked at him or jen,
the flashback of her cuddled in his arms tore me apart.
im unsatisfied.
i blamed jen.i hated both of them.i actually thought of cursing then.
fine.u both perish.leave me alone.

it doesnt hurt as much as before.
but im crushed.broken.shattered.
i feel nothin but hurt and pain where all the memories
keep haunting me and cutting me.
it isnt as bad as the last time...
i was bleeding inside.
but now,i feel empty.

pure hatred.im disgusted by my sis.
her relation to me in the past seems like a fake.
she MUST be plotting this since forever.
to see me in this weak and pathetic state must have pleased her.
she hit my weakest point.she triumphed over me.
she got whatever i wanted.and now i hate her.
i never do trust her like before.
i wished she never existed.

forgive my selfish thoughts,
my love for them lost for good.
they dont mean anything to me anymore.


♥Ace.
Title: Randomness numberr TWO.

- BEDROOM SURVEY -
[i dont have my own bedroom;sadly.sharing it with my sister(s)]

Do you have the following in your
bedroom:
1. Condom:
`definitely a no.
2. Cell phone:
`always,yes
3. Chair/stool:
`none
4. Book shelf:
`nope!
5. Dresser:
`yeah..two of em'
6. Computer/laptop:
`nope..
7. Bags:
`hidden in my closet :D
8. Pictures:
`some..
9. Mirror:
`about two
10. Skateboard:
`i ain't a skater.
11. Bed:
`one double-decker,two smaller ones..
12. Clothes on the floor:
`most of the times...piled on bed.
13. Surfboard:
`singapore no waves..unfortunately..
14. Smoke detector:
`FOR?
15. Musical Instrument:
`primary school recorder..left somewhere..
16. Hero:
`there used to be a NARUTO poster before...
17. Locking door:
`most of the times open.
18. Bottle of water:
`nope...jar full of it.
19. Blacklight:
`nope..
20. Medals/Ribbons:
`put downstairs..for soccor..judo..floorball...
21. CDs:
`in the study :D
22. Flag:
`downstairs again..
23. Stop sign/any sign:
`hmm..i should put one sometime..
24. Real Gun:
`out of the question.
25. Cigarettes:
`neverr.
26 Pot:
`neverr.
27. Alcohol:
`In kitchen
28. Books:
`In the study..
29. PsP:
`in the living room..together with Wii counsel(:
30. box:
`for..?.
31. Stereo:
`downstairs again..
31. Television:
`two in the house..but none in room ):
32. Lighter:
`like i said;i DONT smoke.
33. Gum:
` a box of it...almost eaten up
34. How many windows do you have in urroom?
`1?4 panels..
35. do you fix your bedroom?
`painting it..
36. What's on your walls?
` sunflowers..dolphins..glow-in-the-dark stuff..(dont ask)
37. Has the opposite sex been in your room before?
my brother,uncle,cousins,dad..
38. Has the opposite sex been on your bed?
`everyone above.except for uncle maybe.
39. Has the opposite sex slept in your bed?
`as shown above.
40. Who usually sleeps in your bed other than you?
`me myself and i...and my stuffed-toys..eeyore,stary,wabbit(:, judy, nemo, yukii, monki,Que sara, honey-senpai(:, Neji-san.

i dont even know why im doing this.

Plans for friday: free hair-wash in semei (:

♥Ace.
'time for tutionnnnnnnnnn..
Title: my cousin & i

i was doing my holiday hw (eng) when i saw michael online.
kinda sick of doing cyclones that hit Myanmar & Szechuan province hit by earthquake.
so i decided to chat in MSN.

he asked me weather im having my holidays now
and i said yes.i also havent started doing my holiday homework!
keke.
he reminded me abt my 'o' levels..
and said how am i suppose to cope if i never cheated.
i laughed heartedly

then i proceeded to ask him abt his girl..
and her blog.
*censored to hide identity*
i got a feeling its personal.

then i complained why his blog is so 'chim' & chucky.
then i laughed again & read some of his posts.
then i realised;
how sincere he is to himself & others around him.
how he puts others before himself.
how he judges & makes comparision.
man;he's darned good.and chim.

oh,and i forgot;
how awfully sweet he is.
filial to mother..
cute in a way..he's able to make someone laugh easily.

kinda humble..if i were to say it.
and IF he has a girlfriend;
she's a lucky girl.

he dedicated a song for her!
secretly,of course.
awwwwwww...so sweettttt!
seriously! XD

id better not say anything else before he hacks me..
when he chance upon this post.
but heckk.
i shall continue prasing him! :D

we talked abt studying overseas..
pets..apartments..
and even down to our 'song' family's history!

then i found out something abt my grandfathers:
Michael's grandpa oldest,followed by one in myanmmar(in peace),and mine(in peace),then patrick's,then the other one who stays in singapore,one in hong kong and one more in indonesia.

cool.the songs are INTERNATIONAL babe!
while im trying to take in all the infomation;
he also told me that
'we're also distantly related to Song sisters,wives of chiang kai shek and sun ya sen if you learn history'.

and our grandfather's children,
his has 5 children,
2nd one has 3,
3rd one (my grandfather) has 5,
fourth has 6,
5th has 3,
6th has 3 &
7th has 2 children.
WOW.

followed by that;
he kinda explained a little abt chiang kai shek and sun ya sen's wifes
and how we're related to them.
great great great grandchildren!
i think.

and he went to bed!
while i continued doing my homework..
3 more articles to go girl!
加油! (:

ahh!
out with rach on tues to cut fringe!
out with Mg3 on wed!
tution on thurs!
out with blank on fri! (fill that in)
sat & sun..tution again!


♥Ace.
'oh look!its 12.09am now!'
title:randomness

1. If there is one thing I can't stand its a: flying cockroach.
2. I love it when: its raining
3. My boyfriend/girlfriend is: still unknown
4. My best friend(s) are:my precious
5. I love my family because: it's a fact.
6. When I first met my best friend we: played hamtaro
7. I've never: smoked?take drugs?whatever you name it.
8. I would never dislike someone who: is confident
9. One really good piece of advice someone has ever given me was: from my daddy?
10. If/When I get married I'll: give birth to 3 children (:
11. If/When I get married, our first dance will be: in some fancy ballroom?
12. If I could live ANYWHERE in the world, I would: be filthyclean(ly) rich.huhuh.
13. My dream house is located: somewhere where there's nature.
14. My top five favorite bands are: not frm singapore.
15. My top five favorite singers are: pretty boys (:
16. One N'Sync song I actually like is: forgotten
17. One Britney Spears song I can tolerate and can actually admit to liking is: i dont know.
18. I crave: chocolate.
19. Disney movies are: watched by me.
20. Johnny Depp: is hot.NOT.
21. Milla Jokavich: is a type of lemonade jellybean.
22. When I turn/turned 21 the first thing I did/will do was/is: celebrate my baday?
23. I'm in love with: living/non-living things that are pretty..
24. I could: eat like a cow with 9 stomaches.
25. Four friends I would love to live with are: people who can click with me.
26. My mother is: has a big bum(seriously).but i love her all the same(:
27. I look: at the screen.
28. The last time I cried I was: yesterday?
29. If I were famous, I would: find for Declan Galbriath(:
30. One person, alive or dead, I would like to meet would be: a real-life person of Ryuu Hidaka.
31. The one person I've learned the most from in my life is: my dad?
32. I wish I could be more like: myself. (lolx)
33. I wish I was: more hardworking.keke.
34. The first person who ever broke my heart is: jun-kun?
35. I can't believe that: im not studying for my Amath!
36. Love is: patient.kind.forgiving.un-selfish.chocolate.keke.
Title: you are the way;the truth & the light.

MAY 31st 2008.

Tj's father is to be cremated.
he died of a cancer on may 30th,2008.
early in the morning;friday.
you have my condolenses.

at first i thought to myself:
he deserved it.
he betrayed his wife.
let down his children.

but then again,
its not his fault.
mankind fall to temptation;
so do i.
may he go in peace.

sure,sure;
as an outsider,i do not have the right to comment on their family issues.
but..if i dont speak it out loud,
this feelings would have been inside me;
eating up my soul.

ive got so many things so say;
i couldnt remember what is my purpose is typing this.
all i know is that;
on your deathbed,
you dont..seem peaceful to me.

sure.i lied to Tj.
i said you were in jesus' arms.
in his wings.in paradise.
but there's this thing that haunts me.
ive got this feeling:
you still havent obtained my aunt's forgiveness.
you aint ready to go.
but you have to choice.you have to go;
leaving everything behind.

is that why you clinched all the way to the end?
maybe u were thinking..
my sons are well under her care.
i dont have to worry anymore.
i can go to sleep for eternity.

but this thing keeps bugging me.
although you have put on make-up to cover your flaws,
your insides are not covered.

fine.maybe im overly..sensitive or whatever.
it's the first time i saw a corpse this close.
just..50cm close to my face.
i was horrified.no..
i was..in pain.

its like a stab.
'so..this is how a dead person look like?'
'with overly-put make-up and fancy clothes?'
'why do we have to put up a 'mask' even when we're dead?'
cant you show your inner-self?
your pure,bare face and plain clothes?

i seriously dont know where this topic is leading to.
but all i know is;
when i die,
i'll let my hair fall on my shoulders.
i would wants to wear a plain,white dress.
flowers are not needed.
jus put my stuffed-rabbit on my chest and im ready to go.

he looked kind of sad when he's in the coffin.
he looked so..thin.so fragile.
ive got this urge to lean over you;
and tell you to wake up.
'your kids need you.'
'your 2nd wife needs you.'
'your daughter needs you.she's only two years old.'
'how could you let them suffer?'
'Wake UP!'

the day you were going to be cremated,
everybody cried.
except for me.
sure,i feel sad.pity.
but i know you're going home.upstairs.
i need not worry.
you are already at peace.
i actually felt happy that you reached there first.
i know someday,we'll meet again.
i was in a calm state.
nobody noticed.
i think im weird.

i look into Tj's eyes and wanted to wipe his tears away.
i wanted to hold him.
i can tell he's strong.but tender.
but i couldnt say anything to comfort.

he knows his father more than me.
they have a bond btw them.
they have lived together for years.
and i dont.
so i could not say anything.

if i put myself in Tj's shoes,
i would have cried my eyes out.
because dad wont be in the mist of my life anymore.
not pysically.but only spiritually.
im afraid that i would forget his presense when he's gone.

maybe because i was more angry than sad.
to see your son in this state pierces me.
i worry for him.
im not his girlfriend or anyone precious.
i only this 'baby' cousin.
what can i do but to hug and give moral support?
but i have no say in anything.

but..
let begones be gone.
i didnt sleep well last night.
all i could do is to pray for everone else who is living.
bacause..that's more important right?
time waits for no one.
all i could do is to hold what's precious to me.
life is ever so fragile.
it's my third time i attended a funeral.
one worst than another.

you never know..
i might die tomorrow.
id better say 'i love you' to gabby first.
HAHAHAHA XD

okkay..
sudden outburst.

i think i read too much books..religious ones.
to think ive never opened a bible.
-sorry- to admit that.
keke.but i still love my father's' no matter what.

and now i reapproach myself;
what does this have to do with the title?

Ace.