Title: ARGHH

he was sweet ytd.
and today?
UGHHH.

"im sick of being led on guys who act like they like you one minute and ignore you the next."
so then,u ask me:
how do i spot a jerk from a mile away?
_______________________________

This one creep:
he seems interested..but b4 the girl has a chance
to signal whether its game on or not,
he retreats into ambivalence.

you might be thinking..
'well..he obviously likes me..but not enough..'
'WHY???'

BINGO.
he's ensnared you by preying on your valnurable point:
self esteem.

and then you say:
'what is it abt me that's not good enough for him?'
You press on futther..
flirt abit,gaze a little longer,and compliment more.

the poor girl did not realise that she's determinded to prove herself
that she deserves to be considered the potential girlfriend material.

worse.
when this girl is about to give up on the 'gentlemen',
he'll say: 'wassup' Babe;you looked real pretty yesterday.'

say what?
____________________________

fine fine.
consider me old-fashioned or ancient.
but people are sincere abt their feelings towards others whose company they enjoy,
they want to be in touch with that person.

so,if that person leaves them an sms or voice message,
they will respond as fast as possible.

a jerk will not do that.
in fact,he's the master of blocking.
should you name appear on his phone or something,
chances he wont answer or jus delay to make one feel:
'omigosh,is he ignoring me?did i say anything wrong ytd?'

well,behind the scenes,
that creep might scan his phone/mail for any traces of irritation in your voice.
he'll wait at least a few hours or even a day before replying/calling you back.
you'll feel SOOO relieved just because he's there.
you forgot abt what he has done as you chat happily away with him on the phone.
then the next day,he ignores you again.
sounds familiar?

yes,and this again is to make you feel you're not as high on his priority list
as you deserves to be.
and guess what.
we poor girls are getting obsessed..
we'll even be happy if we could jus hear his voice over the phone at the end of the day
even if he ignores you 24/7.

this guy is seriously messing with your head.
creep.
______________________________________

well,
this are TWO means which guys do,to get girls over their heels.
poppycock.

HMMMMMPH.
two can play at this game boy.
im not an easy opponent to handle.
i aint afriad of gangsters and tsk;
i aint afriad to challenge you.

stop swinging me around in endless circles.
jus you wait.
im gonna cut off the string and bundle you up.
you never know.
__________________________________

and the moral of the story:
dont make girls wait if you're REALLY interested in her.
(this post is mostly taken from CLEO,april 08)

rawr.

P.S: andrea,i'll always be rooting for you.
P.Ss: twin..i SO dont wanna call 'naruto' anymore.
P.SsS: get well soon gabby darlinx (:
P.SsSs: michelle,you better come to schol tomorrow.
P.SsSsS: no more chocolates for you.

♥ Ace
Title: clear minds

yeahhhh.i went out today to buy the chocolate eggs (:
spent the whole afternoon doing ONE chinese compo.. -,-
my mum wasnt at home and i have the responsibility to 'take care' of my siblings.

was thinking it'll be harddd & everything.
but i guess in the end..its was fun to be their babysitter--for once ^^"
morris & christine didnt give me a hard time.
they even drew easter eggs for me as a reward!

it was kinda time consuming..
teaching them times table and spelling.
but it aint that bad.
but i didnt do much homework..at all.
________________________________________

my mind's clearer now.
because..
im different that before.
im no more that gullible.
no more afraid.

past the week;
i learnt how to face 'enermies'..
jus look em' straight into their eye..
..and put a brave front... ^^" heheh.

as i was saying,
id calculated the effects and damages.
it aint that bad..i think.
jus maybe i'll scolded like hell-
if its seperation & confiscation of hp..
then there'll be alternatives..
i guess ^^"

maybe it'll affect my studies.
but at least i dont have to think that much anymore.
i let God do his bidding.
if fate is gonna bring us apart,then go.
i have the ability to stand up on my two feet even though im kicked.
grace song wont die that easily.
but maybe she'll gorge her eyes red & be fine the nxt week.
you'll never know.

you know..
i feel as if im talking gibberish.
i just feel like it.

i feel it in my bones.
im letting things flow naturally.
im SO DARNED glad that i aint wearying? myself anymore.

i jus like the company.
yeahhh.even walking together makes me feel at ease.
but now,im not walking behind..
i do not need to be his shadow.
we walk side by side.

i should give myself a bigger challenge.
sounds like fun.
oh no.a typical teenager emerges.
curious & foolish.
but willing to learn from her mistakes.
as well as getting out of trouble.

but well,lets keep this down a little?
my bigg challenge: to keep this within my mind & mouth.
ive caused people too much trouble by blurting out secrets.
so now,im keeping this to myself and only me.

sorry guys.
dont worry.it aint anything bad (:

P.S: this date i wanna remember.. 200308.
hmm..two weeks from that day is..030408?
smokers shall do my bidding....(totally random.)

♥Ace
title: god,ithankyou,iloveyou,itrustyou.myfateliesinyourhumblehands.

if you happened to see me yesterday or today,
im cheery.gay.excited.smiling.energized.
i was..happy.
purely.

i cant sleep till it was 1am.

imgaine.
your wish came true.

its too good to be true.
you wondered..
will it end someday?

we're trying to work it out.
see if we can be together.
cross my fingers.
you give it till end of this year to try out.
you pray that it doesnt interfere my studies and my O levels.

will i change my mind longterm?
will YOU change your mind?
will we come to find that we werent meant to be together?
maybe we will.but its ot fated.

you're leaving..in two years.
it'll difficult by then..wouldnt it?
then i'll be in my polly.
what if i find someone new in my new enviroment?
will i have a chnage of heart?
would you be unhappy?
what would you do?
what will I do?

would you give me your best wishes?
feel betrayed?
fight me back?
leave again and never to return?

ive been thinking.
the reson im distracted all day:
happy but dazed-
would i be found out?
is it forbidden?
what if i changed my mind?
what if there isnt enough patience?

i knew that it wont last.
if it did,it'll most likely only be two years.
you know how much i felt for you.
its burried deep within--

i admit.ive been surpressing it for very long.
too long.but i tried.
true.ive always want to watch your back.
thats all i ever wanted.
to tell you whats right from wrong.
change develop you to a better person.
im immature,i have no expereince.
forgive me if i dont expect to be what i shouldve be.

you cant blame me--
im too young.i wanna try EVERYTHING.(yes..sky-diving)
ive gone throu many life experience..
my accounts hacked,betrayed,went to the police for my items being stolen,black mark for vandalising,a near-death experience(stepping on sea-urchin & high-fever)..
i looked back and laughed.
looks like having someone who'll hold your hand will be added into the list.

but jus get out of my head.will you?
im afraid i couldnt let you go.
i couldnt.
its difficult.very.
when its time to part,it'll be an EXTREMELY bigg blow.
so sometimes id rather be alone.and not suffer from any setbacks.

see.
yes,i admit im a coward.
i avoid going into a realtionship.
im scared.
im always not prepared.
i never do.
i think too much.but i follow my heart more than my head -,-

but ive made up my mind.
i giving it a go.
but please,please stop being in my mind every day hour minute second.
i cant study for nuts in that state you know?!?!?!?
im like sooooooo darned distracted.
im not good at controlling my feelings.
sure sure.im an open-book.
without doubt.
i easy to read.(like ABC,like 123.)

imagine..

inspired by my favourite aunt (:
she's getting maaried this year in november!
i cant attend T^T
darn the 'O' LEVELS! GAHHHHHHH.
but im soooooooooooooooo gladddd to see her!

except for the part when she said i grew fatter -,-
said my tummy/arms gotten BIGGERR.
ARGHH.elephant! -,-

spend ytd and today in a dazee.
better start my hw tomorrow.
else i'll really kill myself.
GAHH.what have i gotten myself into?!?

P.S: ignore this post.its..random & untterly nonsensical. (:
P.SS: was listening to..Hoobastank: The reason.

♥Ace
Title: welcome to my life world

It hurts.
Im last on your list?
Am i really that unworthy?
Is there ANYTHING ELSE that i dont know?

i went swimming today: 140 metres.
______________________________

one person;
two ears;
three ladders;
four corners;
five toes.

resurface.
lets restart.

one soul;
two eyes;
three steps;
four walls;
five fingers.

resurface.
do it again.

one mind;
two personalities;
three bubbles;
four directions;
five senses.

yes.
my mind is clear.

a person in the water feels different.
its like being in another dimension.
all your can see is transparent blue waters,
hear your lungs releasing air,
taste the chlorine waters,
coldness is all you could feel.
you cant breathe.
you're underwater.

resurface.
bigger breath;dive.

imagine yourself in the ocean.
very far away from civilisation.
far, far, far away.isolation.
you're in the water.
all you see is yourself,with the other souls(fishes)
imagine the sea bed covered with sand,fine stones,shells.
the sunlight shone right into the sea.
the seabed shimmers.
all you hear is the music of the sea--the echo transmitted by whale.
your second touch- the shells.the clamps.the corals.the corse sand drifting out of your fingers.

resurface.
reality.no..
go back in.

i lay in the bottom of the sea.
no one to disturb me,
no one to correct me:

is that what you can say?
you cant trust me?
yes.we have just met and we're not very close.
but do i look like one who'll blabber?
yes.i was immature the last time and still am now.
but im older.wiser.i think more.(obviously)
i learned my mistake.
once bitten,twice shy.is that how you say it?
i wont blabber;i wont stare.
i promise i wouldnt even laugh.
i wouldnt look,hear,see,touch or taste the excitement.

resurface.
hurry..the sun is setting.

its not really about the trust.
its about faith.
must you so tense up?
mus you get so worried about their..or rather HIS arrival?
im hurt.yet i smile.
fine.tape my mouth.
i picked but a shell and admired the pattern.
i lay front-wards onto the seabed and sealed it with a kiss.

the floor was hard and cold.
i resurfaced.
buildings over-towered me.
i hear people cooking and talking.
there was no shore,no sunshine,no vast ocean.

i was back in my swimming pool.
_______________________________________

chorus:

to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
the be kicked when you're down
to feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
and no one's there to save you
no you dont know what it's like
welcome to my life

do you wanna be somebody else? (seldom.a whale maybe)
are you sick of feeling so left out?
are you desperate to find something more? (too much.)
before your life is over
are you stuck inside a world you hate? (id rather be with the fishes)
are you sick of everyone arond? (ehhhhhhh..)
with their big fake smiles and stupid lies (not really)
while deep in side you're bleeding

no you dont know what its like
when nothing feels all right
you dont know what its like
to be like me..

con't

♥Ace