title: am i dreaming?

somebody pinch me.
he came back to visit his father.
for new year.
for shopping.

was doing art & last minute social studies when the doorbell rang.
i was running down the stairway when my maid opened the door.

i heard low voices.
dad?

two shadows emerged from the corridor.
he turned and looked at me.
no.
oh no.
no no no no.
please.tell me its not happening.

i found myself not breathing
and everything stopped moving for a second.
my heart wouldnt listen to me.
dont stop thumping idiot.
you promised that everything broke off.

why do even think that theres something when..
theres nothing?
not even a 0.01% chance?

no.never.
but my heart wouldnt follow my head.
my mind's telling me to run up and hug him.
burying my face in his tee.
smell the familiar homely-smell.
touch his big warm hands.
and never let go.

if you see close enough,
you could percieve my eyes:
pleading.
my eyebrows:
frowning.
yearning.
resist yourself.my mind told me off.
weakling.
no im not.i breathed.

you know nothing will change.
you know its impossible.
you know is forbidden.
you know he'll never be yours.
wise up;girl.

the acute thought stung my heart.
i felt less pain then before.
but it still hurts.

my eyes are still pleading.
please,see me tomorrow?
i won over my head.
please come back tommorow boy.

this time im not lying.

ive missed you.

♥Ace