i like him.
& i think he knows.
im freakin' out cause i dont know what to do.

.
.
.

it's almost unbearable.
dont know how to surpress it anymore :/

it's not that i feel uncomfortable;
its jus that i dont know what to say/do.

acting dumb is not my thing.
and talking too much is not me.
my head is screaming at me:DANGER!DANGER!
be careful of what you say & what you do!
if you screw this up;i cant help you!

.
.
.

stepping back;i realised something about me.i do admit that there has been guys going after me.& i know that i could return the feelings.but i just cant.i cant;icant;i cant;i cant.im scared.i have been hurt real badly that one time & i vowed never to trust them again.ever.im so afraid of being so sad again that i didnt want to leave my shell of comfort & just wanna stay in there protected against these feelings.before all of them become too close;i totally blocked them out.it was selfish of me but it hurts me too.you may say its my fault that i cant let go.but i felt like i had no other choice.i dont know what else to do.

i dont know.
i really;really dont know.

im falling deeper & deeper.
should i pull myself back up like i always did?
or jus let go;& face the full impact that ive always been avoiding all my life?
somebody tell me what to do;please.

xox;♥ace
P.S:the imaginaery person in my head IS keeping me from loving the real on in front of me.well;most of the times.(snatched frm keith's tumblr. ;p)