"cause you're amazing..just the way you are"
her voice cracked.

what are you doing?

her teeth clenched and her furry eyebrows slanted downwards.
her eyes sting.
lifting her head up,
she let the water wash the unwanted tears down.

she choked & her muscles on her face tensed.
she cried silent tears as the music drowned her cry.

what do i gain from all this?

she squeezed her shampoo bottle too tightly-
the soap squirted into little circles on her palm.

why do you keep making me cry?

she rubbed her hair foamy.

why?

the shower went back on again.
she washed the shampoo off.

why do i feel this way?
im never like this before;
i hate myself being like this.
what am i trying to do?

she wiped the hot liquid away with the back of her hand,
and took the conditioner.
she opened the cap and squeezed the conditioner out,
drawing a smiling face on her left palm.

i only wish to be happy.
to find comfort.
to be loved.

her eyes stung.
her lips parted and her teeth clenched again.
she rubbed the roots of her hair and let the tears roll down he cheeks.

i want to call him so badly.
but i won't.
it's not fair.
he's stressed out from the workload.
and i have to be acting this way.

she covered herself in body soap next.

ain't i simply running away from the problem?
crying can't solve anything.

but only a bit of self-pity and the slightest comfort.

it hurts.it hurts.
love him till it hurts.
i've made him angry.
i don't want to hear from him.

she reached out to grab her facial soap.
unscrewed the bottle and poured some out.
she scrubbed her face gingerly.

my eyes are swollen again.
i wonder how many times i've cried for the past months.

turning the shower back on,
she washed the soap away.
the guilt and sadness washed over her instead.

she frowned and she muffled her cry.
snot blocked her nose and she is unable to breathe.
she sucked in air with her mouth agape.

she stepped out of the shower and grabbed the white towel.
she wrapped the cloth around her.

i'm so tired.
i'm supposed to be happy.
he's not supposed to make me cry.

she put on her underwear.
a little frightened,
she stared.

the mirror showed her chubby face;
eyes small,slanted slightly upwards.
they were red and swollen.

her nose flat and big in the middle;
filled with snot which were leaking out.
they were equally crimson red.

her lips,ever so pout,
were showing her clenched teeth to stop her from making crying noises that could give her away.
they were frowning.

i look so horrid and ugly.
what does he see in me?

the painful sadness pierced her heart.
her face crumbled again;
tears flowing out from her eyes as she tried keeping the sounds back in.

i hate this.

she cupped her hands to retain water and splashed it against her face.
she dried herself;
and cried bitter tears again.

xox;♥ace