i cried during the trip.

not once, but twice.

so many reasons.

i felt unfair. really really frustrated.

i hate it- i hate it when people look-up someone's page & make fun of them.

that's plain rude.

even though it may be a joke

even though you may not mean it

even though you may be trying to lighten things up

even though you may be keep the conversation going..

whatever the reason,

if you're not going to say nice things, then

KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.

etc.

i can't say i've never said it before. but you know, even if i did, i'll say; he/she isn't so bad. even though her teeth may not look nice, he/she has nice eyebrows/ have many friends/has a nice personality & in person, i might actually like him/her as a person.

i hate it.

i'm not a pretty/beautiful person myself.

i do not have nice eyebrows,big eyes, perfectly sculptured nose, full kissable lips, high cheekbones, nice facial shape, great body, feminine,elegant or fashionable.

& i know i have BAD SKIN. 

i'm born with it.

i can't change my features/body unless i go for operations & all that.

& i HAVE tried trying to look more presentable.

but people struggle.

& i still do.

it's not fair- you never tried giving them a chance to change yet.

we are born this way.

i have countless friends who're not perfect.

IT'S NOT RIGHT TO JUDGE THEM SOLELY BASED ON THEIR LOOKS.

the reason i feel upset is because i can't stand up for them.

every insult they say about others is literally a blow to myself.

i'm not pretty- so what will the things you'll say behind my back?

i felt ostracized & burdened that i'm not pretty.

& every time i think of my friends who're not prefect-

i feel a wave of anger & sadness washing all over.

i'm so sorry that you've been laughed, mocked & criticized at.

it's not your fault..i wish i cant protect you from people who judge.

but i have no power over them- i can't even protect myself from insults.

i secretly do care about what people say about my looks;

but so be it. so what if i'm 'ugly'?

people who insults probably have uglier hearts.

but i still can't help seeing my self-esteem fall so low.

sorry for me being so ugly-

but FUCK YOU, you're not so great yourself.

THANK YOU, for showing me your ugly heart.

& good riddance.

i don't think i'll be seeing you & your bunch of -most probably- pretty superficial friends around anymore.

oh look, i just judged you.
i must be pretty ugly inside myself.
oh wait, i look pretty ugly outside too.
double ugliness huh?