funny, i just watched a marriage video & i can't wait to be married to someone i love too.

can't wait to have kids of my our own,
raise and treat them like precious jewels.

but reality is not that easy you know.

you need to fall in love.

you'll be vulnerable when you give him a piece of you.
everything seems to be in his mercy,
& your life isn't yours anymore.

time will only tell if he's meant for you.
you'll have to see if he notices everything you do is for his sake.

does he even know that you broke so many rules to make him happy.
you gave him your everything cause you loved him.

you do things you didn't want to do to please him.
you stay by his side through thick & thin when he's turned away.

& you wait for him to figure out that life has so many opportunities.
you remind him never to give up, always to stay happy.
you tell him that when there's a will, there's always a way.

but you cry cause he doesn't understand that life is worth living.
why does he not have an ambition?
why is he wasting his life away?

don't live for me. live for yourself.

does he even see that you're in pain to see him down in the dumps for so long?
does he even see that you can't bear to see the negativity?
she's always there. always.

but you can't seem to see her taking your sufferings with you.
& she's already at her limit.

i want to spend my life with someone who loves me unconditionally,
someone who sees the beauty in life,
embrace troubled times,
press on & never give up.

someone who'll treat me like a jewel too,
& appreciates the things i do for them- before it's too late.

so snap out of your shit hole & stop giving excuses.
man up & stop moping; wondering what went wrong.

before you even try to change the world, try changing yourself.

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this post turned out differently from what i've expected..