i saw your posts.

& then i became overwhelmed again.
it just cannot be a coincidence.

just when i was returning-
in the long drive back;

i felt a wash of desperation, pain & heartache.
my tears started falling;
i felt so alone & unwanted.

i missed being loved for who i am,
i missed being hugged & cared for.

flashbacks of me lying on top of your chest kept appearing in my mind.
me snuggling beside you, feeling safe & secure.

my tears kept falling.
it's impossible.
are your feelings so strong that it reached me 3880 miles away?
something nagging me tells me it is.

i'm not lying or exaggerating. kylie can vouch for me.
funny i actually texted her about everything on the way home;
& the day before too.

& when i'm eventually back home,
i saw, i was thrown aback, & i cried.

i cannot throw everything i had done away & come running back to you.
it's not fair & it isn't right.
i haven't got the chance to let you or myself move on completely;
& find out what we really, truly want yet.

but why oh why, do i just want to wrap my arms around you,
comfort you, & say that everything is alright?